Rethinking your mental health
Recognising that you are suffering from mental health issues is the biggest hurdle you can face.
My sister has suffered from depression since she was about 12 years old. She became fixated on death and the thought of losing our parents sent her into a dark place. An unrecognised illness back then, resulted in her having months off school and endless trips to the doctors until someone would listen. She still struggles today but has a great support network around her and knows the signals.
I just thought she was being dramatic back then and doing all of this for attention. This is one of my biggest regrets for not understanding or being there for her when she needed her big sister.
I was always an outgoing, carefree, not a care in the world girl, horizontal some would call me. Until one day boom! Just like that, I knew something was wrong. Do these signals mean anything to you?
*Worry about your future and finances
*Being anxious or worried
*Unhappy
*Unexplained outbursts
*Impatient
*Unable to sleep
*Weight loss
*Quiet
*Imposter syndrome
*Feeling Guilty
*Not wanting to socialise
*Ignoring your friends
Yes, these were all my symptoms. I didn’t tell a soul.
So what triggered this? Was it an accident at my wedding? Getting married and having children within two years of getting married? a marriage breakdown? The passing of some very close friends? Did I have postnatal depression? The separation of my parents? The fact is I really don’t know but it could be all of these and more. I struggled in silence.
Mental Health hits you on so many different levels, it doesn’t choose wisely.
My family recognised that I wasn’t right and sought help for me, which was the best possible outcome for me and them. Speaking out loud about my worries for my children’s future and how I would ensure they were always going to be looked after, once I am no longer here made me realise I needed to put my plans in place.
How could I? The thought of talking about death was something that filled me with dread, causing even more anxiety. “Surely when my time is up, someone else can just pick up the pieces. Debts die with you, don’t they? I am not going to pass away before my children turn 18, why would I have to think about who will look after them?”
How naive and very selfish of me to even think this way. We all need to plan for our future and the one thing I can promise you, is that when you make your Will and ensure you have Life Insurance in place to cover you in the event of sickness or death, there is no better feeling, it is an instant lift off your shoulders. Tick it off your to do list, a little space in your head with more room.
Put your Lasting Power of Attorney in place now. “Oh, I don’t need one now, I am too young, this is for when I am much older” This is the biggest misconception. None of us know when we are going to be unable to make decisions for ourselves. My health took a turn for the worse a couple of years ago, where I went into shock. Had my husband and father not been with me this could have led to me taking a bang on the head and being left alone for a very long time. Luckily that did not happen. If it had and I did not have my Lasting Power of Attorney in place then access to my finances and decisions about my health would have been so difficult, with decisions being made for me that were not my wishes. Set this up, tick it off your list.
Try these, see how different you will feel
*Go for walks, listen to a podcast
*Meet your friends and talk
*Confront your financial worries
* Exercise, it releases endorphins to make you feel amazing
Mental Health is a hidden illness, we can all put a mask on and pretend we are okay.
One of my biggest fears is speaking in public. I like to be a shadow in the background for the fear or looking and sounding stupid. I listen and observe.
However, put me in front of people to talk about their future and I come alive, it is where I thrive, and my passion and heart lies. I want to ease the worry, for it not to be a daunting process. I am so grateful that I can do this through my work with The Will Guys and The Financial Guys.
Jenn Wilson
* This is not medical advice and only personal experience.